Fiction Alert!
This story is fiction.
It does not depict any real person or actual event.
Graveyard Whistler’s Career Update and Third Flash Fiction Find
Graveyard Whistler has an updated report on his career path and his threat to become a lawyer. Plus he offers a political rant with a rebuttal, which was suggested to him by one of his readers.
Graveyard Whistler Here! Bet You Thought I Forgot about Y’all!
I finally did it. Took the plunge, and decided to take a job with a law firm. I know I’ve been quiet about my pursuit of legal studies, but that’s simply because I do love literary studies so much, and it does take a lot of my time.
But even as I pursued the PhD in lit, I was simultaneously working toward my JD, which I got, and then took a job at Spirit, Mission, and Frees Legal Firm, leaving the university position I originally started. I have not looked back; university teaching is for the birds, not for serious scholars.
Funny, I have been asked to join the University of South Field as an adjunct to teach a lit crit class at night; it would run 6:30 to 10 p.m. So far I have resisted the offer, but I am considering it.
My day job is fantastic; it doesn’t require a lot of homework, but still I do like to guard my time to keep for my own literary studies—am currently working on a book of sonnets. Yeah, I know. I didn’t use to consider myself a creative writer, but that has slowly changed, and I’ve taken up writing both fiction and poetry. Oh, well!
The thing is I spend my daytime doing legal briefs and simple legal tasks, like wills and contracts—stuff that doesn’t take a lot of time, and never interferes with my off time—no weekends, no evenings—what they used to call bankers hours 9 a.m. to 3 p. m.. And so you know how I spend my off time. So let’s get to it!
Here are five additional very short pieces of “flash fiction.”
The following set of five flash fiction stories originally appeared on a now defunct literary site titled, “Stone Gulch Literary Arts.” The owner of the site fell out of love with literature, even as he remained a full professor of American literature at a mid-west American university. He indicated that he might even go back to school to finish his law degree. He hasn’t published widely in the field but just enough to make it to the top of his professoriate.
I continue to adore the study of literature and cannot ever foresee giving it up, certainly never for the study of law. I do find law itself interesting but practicing as an attorney would never interest me. Look at Edgar Lee Masters, Esq., a bitter little man whose bitterness wrecked his marriages, left him in a blue funk. And his literary output?
The sum of his reputation rests on his Spoon River Anthology that is made of other bitter, disgruntled little people. Oh, sure! Masters is regarded as a success, but is he really? He got no joy of out life, and he became so addicted to writing his putrid little “epitaphs” that he couldn’t stop, even after seeing that additional iterations of those little nasty character pieces had lost their pizzazz with the reading public.
Five Flash Fiction Stories
Okay, now down off my soapbox, I give you five more “flash” fiction pieces gleaned and refurbished from “Stone Gulch Literary Arts.” Each little story is told in only five sentences, while still presenting an opening, a conflict, and a conclusion.
Oh, Yeah, Here’s My Point!
Katherine became passionate about Marcus, a member of her poetry workshop. They started meeting several times a week to engage in their lascivious passions. Katherine put psychologist major Marcus in mind of his own mother. Marcus made the mistake of telling Katherine that she wanted to screw her own son, as he also wanted to bed his own mother. Katherine shrieked at Marcus, “you bastard!” as she stabbed him in the neck with her ball point.
A Sinking Feeling
The water looked so refreshing to Jamaal, so he jumped in for a short swim. Sheena was strolling by the lake waters carrying her baby son. Jamaal noticed Sheena and waved to her to come swim with him. Sheena plopped her infant son down on some rocks, jumped in, hoping to get lucky with Jamaal. Problem was, Sheena forgot that she could not swim, so Jamaal was left to raise Sheena’s newborn son.
The Legend of Bessie and Marva
Bessie and Marva start meeting at the Gauntlet Hotel for late night trysts. Bessie tries to break off the affair and begins telling Marva she is not really gay, maybe bisexual, but not a true lesbian. Marva would just blow off Bessie’s claim of non-gayhood. Bessie becomes flustered trying to find a way to make Marva let her go. But then Marva suffers a fatal shooting at a gay pride rally, and Bessie is sad but relieved.
The Vandalizing Sleeper
A big “stop” sign by Bernie’s home was being vandalized regularly. Bernie made up his mind to catch the vandals in the act. Bernies then installs a camera to catch the offending culprits. After a couple of weeks, Bernie goes to fetch the camera to see who’d been messing with that important stop sign. Bernie is shocked and dismayed the find out that he had been vandalizing the sign—he had started sleepwalking again!
Selma to Selma
Buster was a stock clerk in Bibi’s dad’s grocery store in Selma, Alabama. Bibi had eyes for Buster, big time! Buster had the hots for Bibi! Bibi’s dad held “Bozo Buster,” as he called him, in very low regard and canned him to keep him away from his daughter. Bibi and Buster, however, ended up tying the knot and relocating to Selma, Indiana.
Final Word from the Graveyard Whistler
There are only a few more little short fiction pieces left on the Stone Gulch site. I’ll be presenting them as I finish refurbishing them. The site does have a lot of other stuff which I can’t wait to curate. I’m ever so grateful to the owner of that site that he so generously allows me to use the stuff.
It’s all original; I check it religiously with plagiarism checkers and all, and it always comes up clean. I would love to do an interview with that site owner, to see what makes him tick besides growing impatient with literary studies. It would certainly fascinating to find out how his law career is going. Of course, all this depends on how forthcoming he wishes to be. I would not want to make him reveal more than he is comfortable with.
Final Word from the Graveyard Whistler
There are only a few more little short fiction pieces left on the Stone Gulch site. I’ll be presenting them as I finish refurbishing them. The site does have a lot of other stuff which I can’t wait to curate. I’m ever so grateful to the owner of that site that he so generously allows me to use the stuff.
It’s all original; I check it religiously with plagiarism checkers and all, and it always comes up clean. I would love to do an interview with that site owner, to see what makes him tick besides growing impatient with literary studies. It would certainly be fascinating to find out how his law career is going. Of course, all this depends on how forthcoming he wishes to be. I would not want to make him reveal more than he is comfortable with.
Until later . . .
Literarily yours,
Belmonte Segwic
aka Graveyard Whistler
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