Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 14 “If thou must love me, let it be for nought”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s Sonnet 14 “If thou must love me, let it be for nought”

In sonnet 14, Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s speaker is insisting that her suitor love her only for the sake of love, not for her physical qualities such as her smiling lips or the soft manner in which she speaks.

Introduction with Text of Sonnet 14 “If thou must love me, let it be for nought”

The speaker in this sonnet from Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s classic Sonnets from the Portuguese is now graciously receiving her suitor’s affection.  Nevertheless, she also feels it necessary to make him aware that she expects that their budding relationship should not only continue to grow but should become permanent.  She therefore delineates the nature of the love she anticipates that the two will share.

Sonnet 14 “If thou must love me, let it be for nought”

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

Commentary on Sonnet 14 “If thou must love me, let it be for nought”

The speaker insists that her beloved offer her affection only based on love and not for any physical qualities that she demonstrates, including the way she smiles or the manner in which she speaks.

First Quatrain:  Continuing to Remain Somewhat Tentative

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought

The speaker’s tentativeness continues,  even though she seems to be contemplating the much desired joy of such a love relationship.  Her continued procrastination remains as a shield for her heart, in case the relationship ends.   She is signaling the likelihood of her acceptance by affirming, “If thou must love me,” but not with the oft-touted insulting phrase, if-you-really-love-me.

The uncomplicated, single term “must” declares that a change is in the offing.  It demonstrates that she now realizes the true nature of this man’s love, although she cannot bring herself to have total faith that some feature in her nature could never assert itself and thus spoil such a love that seems to be so true.

The speaker is requesting pragmatically that he love her for love alone, and not because of  the physical, therefore superficial, qualities that too often attract lovers.  She does not desire that her lover to be in love merely with the physical qualities she possesses such as her smile and speaking manner.

Second Quatrain: Contempt for the Superficial

That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee,—and love, so wrought,

The speaker then is unveiling her reason for being dismayed by superficial kinds of attention that often engages lovers.  Those qualities too often prove to be “a trick of thought.”  Suppose that her smile be pleasant to him one day but not so much the next day.  If he were fixed upon such a smile, she fears his feeling for her would diminish.

The speaker does not wish that her partner’s love to be guided only by mood.  She suspects that if she offers him a pleasant glance but later offers a melancholy sorrow his love for her may become negatively affected.  

Also, her speech to him may from time to time vary and not always offer him the same level of delight.  She knows she will not always be able to engage in conversation that is brimming only with joyful pleasantries.

The speaker comprehends well that love based on change cannot maintain a lasting, steadfast love relationship.  Thus she is letting him know that she is aware that the physical is very likely to change, but true love should not change; love should remain constant.  She wants to let him know that she can only engage in an unconditional love that is founded on unchanging affection.

First Tercet:  Accepting No Pity

May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,—
A creature might forget to weep, who bore

The speaker is offering an additional demand that he not love her with pity in his heart.  She has often explored the reaches of the melancholy that has caused her to shed tears often and for long periods of time.  And if his love were tainted with pity and sympathy for her sorrowful lot, what would occur with that pity, were she to “forget to weep”?

She reasons that if or when she likely becomes a happily, contented woman, her beloved would then have one less reason to continue to love her, if he had allowed his love for her to include the negativity of pity and sympathy.

Second Tercet:   Love for Love’s Sake Alone

Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

The speaker deems it very important to make her paramour aware that she wants to be loved for no reason other than that she exists.  If she is loved because of physical features, or because of the fact that she has deeply suffered and somehow now deserves to be content, true, lasting love could never continue to remain.

Therefore, if her beloved will love her as she requests and just love her for “love’s sake,” she is convinced that their love will exist “through love’s eternity.”  She has weighed the calamity of false starts, and she makes it clear that she wishes to avoid the pain of a failed relationship.