Letters from Down Under

Letters from Down Under

with apologies to Australia

Dear Head,
I am writing this letter to apologize for all the agony 
I have put you through because of my cravings.  
Thank you for supplying the long slender objects 
that have thrust themselves into me from time to time—
the fingers, the tongues, the carrots that have made 
my pleasure spot throb.  I know those acts 
must have embarrassed you, having to expose 
your breasts and belly and buttocks to get the flesh 
tools to work.  Most of the owners of the flesh tools were gross; 
I always liked the tongues and fingers better than 
the pricks, but I understand now where you were 
coming from, I’m sorry if I had anything to do with
making you think I needed all that goo sprayed
into me, it was always just the throb I wanted, 
not the job, especially not the clean up afterward. 
Again, I apologize, and promise to remain as humbly
quiet as I can from now on.  (Oh, yeah, FYI—despite
male ego and female confusion on the subject, 
all of us girls are really lesbians.)  

Yours in peace, 
DU

Dear Heart,
I am writing this to apologize for all the aching 
I have caused you.  I know you felt left out every time 
one of those prong-owners went straight for me. 
 I apologize for hiding here under this bush,
ambushing the meat, I know I have been a hungry bitch, 
and I have stolen from you more than I could ever 
return.  You have the last laugh, your blood is 
still running and mine is dry.  I promise I will not 
prompt you again, I hope you have a serene life, 

I am finally learning to live in tranquility.  No more 
vaginitis and no more yeast infections, a disease-free environment
encourages peace 
within and without.

Yours for love,
 DU

A slightly different version of this original poem appears in my collection titled “Turtle Woman & Other Poems” under the title “Letters from V”